I’ve been feeling quite ambivalent about our upcoming move abroad, and I’m not sure why. Prior to our first move to Thailand four years ago, I was excited. I saw it as an adventure and a chance to see and explore another part of the world. Even though so much of our future was unknown to us at the time, I wasn’t afraid (okay, maybe just a little, but not much).
This time has been different. After the initial excitement at the prospect of living in another country, traveling, and (re-)learning about my own culture died down, I started thinking about the negative aspects of the move — the packing; the long flights; the transition and adjustment period, which was oh-so-painful the first time around; getting to know an entirely new country and city; having no friends or family around…etc. The list goes on.
The idea of dealing with all that to come exhausts me and weighs on me. I know there are positives as well — the excitement of getting to know our new home, meeting new people, the traveling, a better quality of life, the FOOD! But to get to all that, we have to get through the unpleasant stuff first. As they say, no pain, no gain. Right?
I’ve come up with one reason for my doubts about our move: I know too much now. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. We had no clue what we were getting into the first time we signed on to move to Asia, so we took things one day at a time and were open to whatever came at us. Now, I know. I know the difficult path ahead of us; I know, to a certain extent, the challenges we will face.
Since coming to this realization, I’ve been trying to focus on the positive aspects of this move, much like I did the first time. I remind myself that the negative parts will be temporary, that things will get better as time goes on, as they did in Thailand. I’ve also started making a list of things I can do to help us adjust, which I will post in another entry. Doing these things have helped me to feel more in control and more enthusiastic about our big move, giving me things to look forward to. Now I just have to keep this up for another three months or so, which is another big task in and of itself!